I'm not sure I can stand this anymore. Every time I come here is nothing but negative on top of negative. I come to visit my mom and little brothers on and off since I started school, and every time, the negative energy just gets worse and worse. I've tried to smile through it all, tried to help ease my little brother's disdain at being a child who is set on the ideal that his mother is unfair, when as we all know, thats life. Life is unfair. He complains that he tries when he doesn't. On top of that, mom isn't helping by always bitching at him, yelling and cursing after telling him not to do the same thing. Some role model.
I wanna yell at them, tell them to stop it, to just quit being so hateful, just quit being assholes, to quit screaming and yelling... but two wrongs don't make a right, and quite honestly, I'm about to just say fuck it and not return. Its stressing me out seeing my loved one's stressed. I come here to relax and share good times, share things I've missed in my time away. Not be a mediator for a couple of childish pricks.
I don't know what to do anymore. Would just leaving things be and not coming back be an okay thing? Not texting back, not existing to them? Maybe I should just move in with some friends and leave my family for some time, see how long they last without me. I'm sure they'd do fine... but then I worry that I'll come back to something horrible, to someone missing, either physically or... spiritually... I love them, but if this is all I get when I come to visit and say "how's it going", why come?